It's Over
by skye hakari
Summary: I really don't know if I'll ever be okay...without you. You were the reason I got up and told the world to kiss my butt every morning. I'll never get over you...no matter how many years pass. I love you, my Roxy." AkuRoku. Character death. Very sad.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts...but I am getting a Cloud plushie for my birthday!!! Wait...that's technically Final Fantasy...anyway, you get the point. Me no own.**

**It's Over**

_An AkuRoku oneshot_

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The sound of feet scuffing against the gravel echoed across the empty silence of the graveyard. Gray clouds swept over the sky and a vacuum of silence enveloped the bleak landscape. A dozen roses wrapped up in a bouquet were clenched in the hands of the usually vibrant redhead, who as of late had slowly slipped deeper and deeper into depression. Axel slowly walked down the gravel road towards his destination, each step opening up a fresh wound in his heart. Finally, he reached his destination and placed the roses on the relatively fresh grave. Twisting a pair of black and white rings on his fingers, the pyro fought back the tears threatening to spill and knelt down.

"I…I came to visit you…I'm sorry I haven't come sooner…"

Gulping loudly, Axel continued.

"I remembered your birthday, for once, and--I brought you some fresh roses. Just got them at Marly's flower shop. Everyone…they all really miss you. Sora's really taking it hard, but Riku's taking care of him. No need to worry about him from up there, because out of everybody I think he'll be just fine. Karada loves him more than anything…"

Choking up, Axel pulled his sunglasses up and wiped the tears away.

"Anyway…I know you'd never admit it, but I brought you roses cause I know how much you love getting them. I remember that, no matter what, you'd always lose that frown whenever I forgot your birthday or our anniversary and I would bring you some at the last minute from Marly's cause it was right on the corner. You'd always try to stay mad but I could always tell you weren't…you never could lie to me…and I could never lie to you. I'm sorry for all the stupid mistakes I made…I can't imagine how you managed to forgive me every time. I don't even know how you dealt with me at all in the first place."

Sigh

"A lot has been going through my head since…the funeral I guess. My mind was kind of numb until then. I don't think I realized that you were truly gone until I--saw you--lying there--"

Tears streamed down Axel's face as the images flooded into his head. Sora practically collapsing in tears at the hospital. Cloud falling to the ground after pulling the plug. Brain dead. No hope. He was already gone…no soul left in the body. Everyone at the funeral…crying. Kairi and Larxene holding Namine as she wailed. Axel found it hard to hate her now. Sora looking like he would break at any moment with only the slightest trigger…and Riku never taking his eyes off of the brunet, except to say goodbye. Even Cloud was practically leaning on Leon, like he was a crutch he would die without. Axel felt the sobs lessen, and continued to talk…almost as if he was really there.

"You looked like an angel. No, you are one. I truly believe that you're up there, looking down on us. You were just too good to be anywhere else. You're a hero too. Pushing Sora out of that bus' way…you saved his life. He's going to get old and have birthdays and get a job and love Riku…those two have just gotten closer because of this if you can believe that. I almost didn't think it was possible, until I saw it happen. A lot of things have happened this last month that I haven't seen coming. First, you…and then Riku and Sora getting engaged. Yeah, Karada finally got the balls to pop the question. And Cloud and Leon are living together now. Finally. They seem really happy…well, as happy as we all can be with you gone. It's like there's this huge black hole following us all around. For me…everything seems all washed out now. I can't find much drive to do much of anything nowadays except finishing school and work. I see you in everything and I can't even sleep at night without you there beside me."

Axel felt the tears coming again and let the memories replay. The two of them walking down the halls, holding hands. Axel terrorizing the blond at lunchtime with his pyromaniac antics. Going to the annual fair on their last date. Sneaking over every night and watching the stars I his backyard. Going back inside and making love until the sun came up. Explaining away the limps and hickeys to Cloud the next morning. Axel beating up the entire soccer team and then setting their books on fire when they dared to confront the blond.

"I really don't know if I'll ever be okay…without you. You were the reason I got up and told the world to kiss my ass every morning. Because of you, I actually tried to do well in school so I could be in those super-smart classes you were taking. Because of you getting that full-ride scholarship, I worked my ass off to be excepted to the one college I swore I'd never attend. And it was only because of you that I'd swallow my anxiety and leave my lighter at home to stay out of trouble."

Sigh

"I'll never get over you…no matter how many years pass. Sora and Riku will be old farts sitting on the porch swing holding hands while I'll be there in the rocking chair clutching your picture. If I even live that long. Without you…there just doesn't seem too much of a point to my life anymore. Everything I wanted to do involved you and everything I wanted to be was whatever you needed. Nothing in my life didn't have you in there somewhere. To be honest, I haven't even gone back in your room since the accident. Sora went in there to get that jacket of yours, but he just collapsed on the floor and Riku had to carry him out."

Sigh

"I love you so much. I came here to try and get some closure and to say some things…but I don't really want to move on. I just want to hold you again. For you to be back with all of us and fill this massive crater you left behind in our lives. We're all holding a birthday party for you today, over at your parent's house. There'll be red velvet cake, your favorite, and Dem put together a soundtrack of all your favorite songs. We're gonna watch the Star Wars movies again for you and your mom says she's going to bring out some old family videos. Zexion even claims to have some secret footage of us all as a surprise for later. Your dad even bought you that car you've wanted for forever and put a bow on it, even though you swore you'd kill somebody if he did…made it pink too…"

Axel chuckled through the tears that left his face caked and red.

_Now that it's over  
__I just want to hold her  
__I'd give up all the world to see  
__That little piece of heaven looking back at me_

_Now that it's over  
__I just want to hold her  
__I've got to live with the choices I've made  
__And I can't live with myself today_

Axel pulled out his phone and turned off the music. Stupid randomly placed music buttons. Then, the words of the song hit him and the redhead broke down in tears again. The blond's face appeared before him and the images just kept coming. His smile…that smug little smirk…that perfectly gelled hair…his pale, soft, creamy skin…the way his lips quivered when they kissed…the feeling of his fingers wound in his hair…the sound he created when they made love…just the comfort of his presence…

"I love you, my Roxy. You're my everything and I never thought I'd have to live without you. I can't even find a purpose to my life without you here. Everyone keeps trying their best to cheer me up, but the only thing I need is YOU. I need to hear your voice, hold your hand, kiss you until your knees buckle, make you scream my name in pleasure until your voice is gone…And everything else just feels so pointless."

Axel wrapped his arms around his knees and cried as he felt his heart break all over again. Feeling as if his eyes had crusted shut from the crying, Axel reached out and brushed his fingers across the engraving on the tombstone.

**Roxas Strife  
May 5, 1992 - December 2, 2009  
Beloved Brother, Son, Friend, Soul mate  
"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count.  
It's the life in your years."**

Axel felt the last of his heart shatter as he read over the words. It'd been his idea to put 'soul mate' because that's what Roxas was to him. Nobody had protested it and the word had seamlessly been put on the end. The redhead sucked in one last breath before he spoke the last of what he'd come to say.

"People would always say that I didn't have a heart…before I met you, that is. I always had a heart, but I never knew it until you came into my life. You stole what I never imagined I could have and made it impossible for me to survive without you. You became my drug, my addiction. The solution to all my problems. In truth, you are my heart. Without you, there's no pulse in this shell I'm living in. No color in my world. I loved you with everything I am and I still do. You took my heart with you when that bus took your life."

Getting up, the redhead gazed one last time at the tombstone and envisioned Roxas to be sitting right there.

"You're my soul mate, Roxas. You have my heart…and I'll see you in the next life. Wait for me."

And with that, Axel did the single hardest thing in his entire life…he lit a cigarette and walked away from the grave of the one person he ever truly loved.

**I'll be right there….**

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**Okay, what did you think? Did you cry? I know I almost did! So, please click the little bar underneath all this and send me a review with your thoughts.**

**When I was writing this, I listened to Lucy by Skillet (please do the same if you can find the song). The lyrics just fit the fic so perfectly, and yes, the song played on Axel's phone is the same one. So yeah, that's all for now folks! Please review!**

**_~Skye_**

**p.s. I AM working on my other stuff and they should be posted soon. Here's the order where I hope they'll be finished:  
****1. Locker Room (an M Seiner oneshot)  
****2. Gravitiation (a cute Zemyx oneshot)  
****3. Bruises Chapter 3 (FINALLY!!)  
****4. Break Free Chapter 1 (new story)  
****5. Long Distance Advice Chapter 1 (another new story)  
****6. Love, You're Everything In This Gallery (epically long SoRi oneshot)**


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